Selling Breezy Point

Last Wednesday morning, my daughter and I set our alarms for 6:00 a.m. and poured coffee in travel cups and drove the five minutes over to the house in Breezy Point. We've been getting it ready for sale - painting, moving, cleaning, staging - and it is officially on the market tomorrow.

Later that morning, Maddie made the 8-hour drive back to Columbia, to finish her final semester at University of South Carolina. The day after she arrived home for Spring Break, we went over to the house to clean and finish clearing out straggling items. I went to check on her upstairs in her room and she ended up in my arms having a good cry. Wednesday morning was my turn.

Our plan was to sit on the back porch and watch one final sun rise, but the weather didn't cooperate and the drizzle and clouds blocked the sun. We sat together on the small couch and hugged. This time I was the one to cry as 42 years of memories passed by, so I shared some of them...

"My first summer love was here," I said.
"Who was that?" she asked.
"Oh my, between pre-teen and teen, it was probably a dozen boys!"

"All those 4th of July celebrations," she said.
"Yes."

"You took your first steps here. You climbed out of your crib here."
"I couldn't be stopped!" she laughed.
"You wrapped your grandmother around your finger here. It was you two against me."
"And rightfully so..." she said.

She remembered all the different configurations of the furniture and said, "Remember when the TV was here and you stood there and watched the news on 9/11?"
"Oh yes...I could not stop crying."

She mentioned the boy two doors over, "When I think about playing with Matt every day, I just think how we would be outside for hours and hours. We spent so much time just playing."
"Remember you two were allowed to freely go between the three backyards, but you weren't allowed to play out front," I reminded her.
"You were afraid someone would steal me!" she replied.

"All my friends love this house," she states. "They think it's the most adorable house."
"It's certainly small and old," I said.

"I probably studied in every corner of this house,"
I said, "I remember telling people that you were spread out all over this house and I just rented a room."

We took one last walk around. We stood at the back windows staring out of the view. The sun was back there somewhere behind the gray. We hugged.

"So, did you want to go upstairs one last time?" I asked.
"No," she said. "I think I'm ready."

She took a couple pictures of the house before we left the house that built her. I had 21 years of memories in that house before she was born, but the sweetest ones are of raising my child in a house that I loved from my own childhood. For most of those years, her bedroom upstairs was the same one I spent my summers in. I'm confident that most of our memories are happy ones. When I count my blessings, raising my girl in this house and this community are among them. Home, church, friends, family, school, and more - I can't think of many experiences we've had here that don't bring gratitude. It's been a good run.

Happy in her Disney Princesses nightgown!

Cinderalla lived her for a time.

When she accepted Christ, photo on the back steps.

Where she found her passion: Sports Management

My Future Business Leader of America

Senior Photos

My college student/Charger lover!

Putting herself through her first two years of college.

College Senior year Spring Break. Home to say goodbye to this old house. 

Our DIY Wedding

After my husband finally put a ring on it in August 2014, our next questions were:

1. How do an over-50 woman and and over-60 man celebrate a wedding without looking foolish?
2. How do we keep costs down?
3. What are our college-age children's schedules?
4. Should we just elope or go to the courthouse?

August 2014

We spent the next six months asking these questions over and over and then just dropping the subject!  Maybe just being engaged was enough! As Christians, we both knew that moving forward with marriage was certainly what God would want, but as older, previously married people we were overwhelmed. We both owned homes. We lived 80 miles apart. We each had a college-aged child who was not established. He was retired, while I was in the process of selling my business. I had family everywhere; he had a close family all within the DC area. Finances needed to be combined, we needed to decide where to live, decisions had to be made about insurance and other issues. It really was easier for a while just to drop the subject as quickly as it came up! 

But, but... WEDDING! We both had previously been married and had weddings. I have to admit that I was a bit hung up on having a wedding because this marriage was the one I was confident about. Marrying someone whom I had known for 30+ years and whose character at 60 was unchanged from when I'd first met him made me confident that a celebration was indeed in order! While he might have been happy to elope or go to the courthouse, we both felt that we wanted traditional vows before God. Three major factors pointed us in the direction of wedding - my daughter, his son, his 80+ mom. We wanted them involved - and my mother-in-law would have been disappointed not to be there. So, a wedding was needed.

I knew that I wanted to be married overlooking the water - either the Chesapeake Bay or the Patuxent River. I would love a sunset. So we started searching for venues knowing full well that we did not want to spend a lot of money. It's a lot different when you've worked all your life for your money - what you're willing to spend on one day! Still, I had a lot of ideas. Naturally, I created a couple of Pinterest boards and started pinning like mad to My Backyard Wedding.  We wanted to be outside in a natural setting with a laid-back, casual theme. We had quite a few discussions that ended with nothing resolved because the whole idea of paying for a venue and all that goes with that was daunting. We wanted to keep things under $5,000.00 and that did not look possible. Even that number had John gasping for air!

My house is in a small beach community on the western shore of the Chesapeake Bay but my home is not crowd friendly, nor is it overlooking the water. On a fairly regular basis, we would be invited to have dinner with a dear friend who has a knack for putting together all the right ingredients for an incredibly fun dinner party. Always the right mix of people, food, beverages and conversation. On a fall evening sitting around the fire pit enjoying after dinner drinks she said, "Why don't you have your wedding here?" Immediately, we said no. My first thought was, "What a beautiful place for a small wedding," while my second thought was, "What an incredible way to kill a friendship!" There were a couple of weeks of conversation before we agreed. There had to be terms - and she had the perfect idea. Her house is on a bluff overlooking the Bay and there was a fairly decrepit "workshop" building at the bottom of the bluff set back behind the sand. She had toyed with the idea of making it into a fun, beach shack to store beach items and host small parties. The bluff was overgrown, and the shack was in need of repairs. In exchange for fixing up the bluff and the shack we would be married in her backyard - overlooking the Bay. I was overjoyed that my dream was coming true!

Amazing hostess and friend, Sonia Kay of Sonia Kay's by the Bay

The wedding date was finally set for June 4, 2016, and the work would begin whenever my fiance could get started. While settling on a venue is most important, there was still so much to be done. For the moment, though, I could breathe a sigh of relief.

This photo may have been taken that fateful Fall evening! 

Beautiful lush backyard at Sonia Kay's by the Bay!

On the Western shore of the Chesapeake Bay, we don't see the sunset ...

But just look how the sunset reflects off the water!

My, Umm, Our Beach House

I've been thinking of a new name for my blog and all that goes with it - Facebook page, etc. It's been My Beach House for so long but I just got married in June and we are renovating a bigger beach house so I've been thinking of a new name. Driftwood Shores, because my husband is a part-time driftwood artist, Willow Shores, because the new house is in a neighboring community called The Willows. I've actually lost some sleep over this.

After two and a half months of marriage, having been single for more years than I want to admit, I believe I've come upon the perfect name:

MY, umm, OUR BEACH HOUSE

After this very short period of marriage it has become quite clear to me and my husband that we are so used to living alone (with the exception of our kids, one each), that sometimes it's hard to remember you have another person to consider. And because he has such a generous and mannerly nature, when I say "WE" I mean "ME." He will always pour me a cup of coffee. He will even ask if I want another one. He never leaves things lying around, unless I'm supposed to review or sign something, which I might get to in days. On the other hand, I'm the person who pours one big glass of wine and then plops down on the couch and says, "What?"

My story about finding Mr. Right is very long, but I wrap it up in a little snippet I call, "THE LIST." All of my friends and my husband have heard it a dozen times so I'll write it here and never mention it again. In all the years that I was alone and longing to find love, a list developed. My list included the things that I was looking for in a partner. Of course, my list was longer at 50 then it was at 25, which is why I had been divorced for so long. If I'd been as picky my first time around...well, that's another story! The top items on my list were: a man who is kind, a man who makes me laugh, a man who likes to travel, a man who is good to my child, a man who is a Christian. I only had one physical requirement - a man who is tall. While my husband meets all of that criteria, including being 6'7", there were other less important items that he didn't meet. But that's not the surprise in the story. The punchline of "THE LIST" is how completely surprised I was that he had his own list. And the newsflash was that I didn't meet all of those items. This is what happens when we spend too long alone. We are the only person in our story except for the unknown love that is out there somewhere. Imagine my shock that he had his own list. And then imagine my humbling when he chose me anyway.

We've been married for almost three months now and together for almost five years. We had our own lives 80 miles apart and spent a considerable amount of time away from each other. Now that we're making our lives together every day, it's a big adjustment. Much of it is humorous. We have both had to apologize often and bite our tongues daily! Throw in that we are both retired and we have purchased a home that needs renovations. We each own a home and fortunately his has finally sold. And my college senior daughter is living at home this semester while doing an internship locally. It's been quite a summer. 

At this point, those major qualities on my list have had to be exercised often, especially the sense of humor and following Christ. Between them both, I am reminded often that this is a shared journey and that I have much to learn about being less selfish, more faithful, and to put my husband first. That was when I knew that I had finally met the man I longed for - when his happiness became as important to me as my own. But I've also discovered that love and marriage are as much action verbs as they are nouns. 

365 Days of Gratitude

A few years ago I participated in a Facebook event called 101 Days of Gratitude. The first day was 101 days before Thanksgiving and the event culminated on Thanksgiving Day. The next year, I started one of my own events and invited my Facebook friends. It is a marvelous and spiritual avenue for counting and sharing your blessings. This year, when Thanksgiving Day came, we all shared that we would be sad for it to end.

My parents - Grateful for life and their love

My childhood home for the first 18 years of my life!

I changed the name of the group to 365 Days of Gratitude, and the group has continued. We don't share every day like we do during the 101 Days, but we keep in touch regularly and share what is going on in our lives and ask for prayers when needed. The group has been a wonderful way to focus on the things that are important: family, love, art, beauty and laughter. 2016 may go down as the most cynical year in American history!

My Bible - so grateful for God's Word.

August 11, 2016 is Day 1 of 101 Days of Gratitude 2016. We welcome all to join us. Every year I am so thankful for many new things to add to the most precious blessings that I hold near. It is an effort some days to come up with something new. It stretches me to focus on the positive. What about you? Are you thankful for the air you breathe, your health, your children or that 10 year old dog who is your faithful companion?

Laughter - is there anything better?

This year I have some new blessings that I've collected over the last year: my husband, our new home, our new community, some new friends, renovations, new goals. I'm looking forward to the daily focus on gratitude. The Lord has been so good to me. I've added some photos of gratitudes from year's past. Think about how you have been blessed and share them with us over on 365 Days of Gratitude. Looking forward to meeting you!

The Beauty of Nature. 

A Morning Meditation

We missed the sunrise by about half hour but we still managed to paddle away from the shore around 6:30 a.m. The 90-100 degree heat of the last two weeks makes it easy to stay inside, and retirement makes it easy to sleep in, but I committed myself to it today and managed an early rise.

We paddled straight out into the Chesapeake Bay away from the beach in the path of the day’s new sun. After awhile, we just stopped talking and paddled and floated on our own. Black coffee still hot in my thermos mug and as I leaned back my thoughts turned to God. That old saying, “If you feel far from God, ask yourself, ‘Who moved?’” I never feel far from God but that’s sort of the problem. Over the last few years I don’t think of Him enough.

I began talk to Him, quietly meditating on His presence. The slight current slapped gently along the bottom of my kayak, as I closed my eyes and breathed in the air.  A look around and I could see Sam at least a football field away, doing the same thing. Just laid back, feet propped up on the bow, rising and falling with the water.  Why don’t we do this more often – enjoy the early morning when no one else is around?

All the normal excuses:  we spent the spring planning a wedding, a honeymoon, buying a house, trying to sell one, getting our joint finances in order, helping our kids, doing laundry, making meals, living day to day.

But at that moment on the water, I thought of all the horrible news the world has had lately – terrorism here and abroad, politics pitting us against one another and the lawlessness of our leaders. I ask God to help me again, “Help me focus on you, Lord. Help me to honor you.” Early morning trips on the kayak or long walks, getting back to healthy eating and exercise. Find a church.  Help others.  Pray more.  I’ve lived an amazingly blessed life. I’ve suffered loss and heartbreak but God’s blessings overshadow those. It’s time to be more mindful. I’m shooting for the actual sunrise tomorrow.

Guest Bedroom Makeover

My beach house has a fairly typical layout for the cape cod style beach houses that were built in the 1940's and 50's. Most of them have a staircase that leads to a second floor that originally was wide open. Families would put several twin beds up there and the kids and their friends would take that floor. Over time walls were put up and perhaps a closet. Ours was no different. While there are technically two bedrooms on the second floor, neither of them have a door. You reach the top of the steps and go left or right. Many years ago, when I had the rooms painted, we decided to paint them both in Disney colors so that Maddie could use one side for her bedroom and the other for a playroom.

About four years ago, at thirteen, she felt the need to paint her side a little more sophisticated and chose a pale grey with black trim. We decided recently to repaint both sides and brighten it up some. We did her room first and she is using a pale teal or aqua as an accent color. The room is a light sand color, Behr Paint "Oyster" and the trim is a pale cream, almost white. It's very nice but I'm not allowed to post any photos of it.

The other room had become a place for storage over the last several years and still had the Disney paint - a pale green called Tinkerbell and a lavendar that I can't remember the name of. Last year we had a hurricane and needed to evacuate. Although my brother and his wife have no children living with them, they have two spare bedrooms and welcomed us to stay with them for a few days. After we returned home, I vowed to redo that spare room so that if ever we had friends in need, they would have a comfortable room to come to. 

Making changes to the house has been so much easier of late. The man in my life is extremely handy and seems to never tire of doing things for me around the house. In the beginning of our relationship he heard me lamenting that I had very little storage space and took it upon himself to lay plywood in the attic space so that I could store things under the eaves. It is amazing how much space that created. I have all the Christmas stuff on one side with room to spare and have barely begun to start putting things on the other side. Maddie and I put a coat of primer on the walls in her room and he took over from there, completing her room. And this last weekend I helped while he did the bulk of the spare room. There is still a bit to do in there, so I'm not going to reveal the room yet, but I will give you a taste of what it looked like before we got started and in a couple of weeks will have the room complete for posting photos.

 I'll give you a little hint about what's going to be in the new room. The bed that you see with the taupe and cream seashell quilt will be part of the room. And this beautiful, aged, salmon dresser will be in the room too. I'm so excited - working on throw pillows for the bed and a few other touches. Stay tuned!

Lists

I made some progress today in my quest to become more disciplined. First, I made two lists of things I want to accomplish: One entitled "Discipline" lists the things I want to be sure to do every day. The second is a "Home Projects List" which contains the things I'd like to accomplish around the beach house this year.

The teenager that lives here had a most pathetic weekend - having nothing else to do, she hung out with me yesterday. We went to the grocery store and then out for dinner. Today she graciously completed all the chores I gave her while we both rocked around the house listening to our separate ITunes! And that included doing the two chores I hate the most vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom. She helps me out alot.

I made a new recipe Slow Cooker Cuban Chicken - a recipe I got from a new magazine from Better Homes and Garden's "Skinny Slow Cooker"Magazine.

While this was cooking, I took a walk down past the beach to the marina. There was no one there, just the sound of the water against the few boats still in the water. On my list this morning, I listed 30 minutes of exercise. It was a nice walk and I took a few minutes to sit on the dock and just reflect.

Christmas a la Betsy

Maddie and I spent a great day at Betsy's - exchanging gifts, having dinner and laughing until we had tears rolling down our cheeks. The best of friends make you laugh like that and Betsy never disappoints. She had decorated in her usual classy style. I took some photos - notice that I'm having an effect on her: a few touches straight from My Beach House.

Walking

Here I go again - get organized, complete projects, start exercising, etc. I managed to get up two days in a row for a 6:30 a.m. walk with my neighbor. She's taking care of her elderly mom and has to go early. Although, I fight discipline with every fiber of my being, I'm forcing myself to change my thinking. If what you focus on grows, then my focus on being lazy is having great success on my rear. So, up I go. Shoes on and out the door. Tomorrow I need to take the camera because I forget how beautiful it is here sometimes. When we walk, this is what we get:

Breezy Point Beach, MD view from the harbor

Breezy Point Beach, MD looking toward the harbor

Mermaid Cottages

I found this beautiful website and Facebook page for the Mermaid Cottages on Tybee Island, GA, and am smitten. I can't stop looking at all the photos and decorating ideas of the different cottages available for rent on Tybee and although I desperately want to plan a trip there, how can I choose which one I want. Each is so completely unique - with colors both fun and serene, and furnished with items old and new.  I am struck with how different they are yet how each captures the essence of my idea of beach house living. I can't show you all of them here; you'll have to lose yourself in the website yourself, but here are some of the photos I love the most and some ideas I'd love to incorporate here.

This table is perfect for a beach kitchen

Screened porch - what's not to love?

The hammock, ceiling fan and repurposed bed - so inviting.

With the exception of the dark paneling - this room is perfect!

Love the beach glass colors!

I want to sit and read on this porch!

From the Paula Deen cottage - love that chandelier

Saved my favorite for last. If that window has a waterview, I could live here forever!

I have visited and loved many newer cottages with all the latest ideas of how to live a comfortable and laid back beach life, but for me the best "new" cottages incorporate so much of the old. A wide, screened porch with enough room to sit and read or for the kids to play on a drizzly day. A well-placed hammock in the quiet corner of the wrap around, towel hooks instead of bars in the bathroom, an outdoor shower, a deep seated, slipcovered sofa, a usable but small kitchen, and shells and signs and candles are all part of beach house living in my mind. I've dedicated a large portion of my daydreaming to designing and decorating the beach house in my mind over the years. Finally, the message is clear - appreciate what you have.

So, as I look through the photos and note what I would love to do with my house, I am mindful that I already have a beach house.  Leafing through the pages of a decorating book or clicking through the photos on a website can make you wish you had something different. In this small, old, in "terrible need of work" house, I spent summers as a teenager, rocked my daughter to sleep, received friends after my mother's death, and started a business.  It doesn't look like these houses yet, but it is a work in progress and while I can dream of visiting one of these places and using some of the ideas in my own home, the home I have contains the story of my life and I am pretty happy with how that story is turning out.